Comedy Comic Lover Pillows

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"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Children's Parties

Director/Action Man toy.

International Women's Day

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

The first car accident.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.