Comedically Overwhelmed Dads Mugs

"My wife is about to have a baby, so I was wondering if you could make me work late for the next eighteen years or so."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

Toys in the DVD Player.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

The modern generation!

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

"Well, I never! So this is where babies come from!!"

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"There's no umbilical cord. But don't worry... it just means your baby is connected to you via wifi."

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"Which one's mine?!"

We ARE playing catch.

"Dad, I need some help - what's 4 x 4?"

Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Father's Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. She's tired in bed so I'm on 24/7 kid duty. I haven't left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Father's Day, my loving wife granted me ten flee

'My wife says it's compulsory - that the Queen made a speech about it.'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

"Geez. He's bald. No teeth. And craps in diapers."

"It's an educational toy. Let HIM figure out how to assemble it!"

'OK, it's a kidney. But you should have seen the kids faces when they opened their x-boxes.'

'Maybe tomorrow.'

"Right now I'm a stay-at-home dad, but when this baby comes I'm going back to work."

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

I used to run every day. But lately its just been a rack for my clothes.

"Santa knows how little you know about technology, so he sent me to help you figure out how to use all the new devices you and your family got. I'm from his tech-support department."

"That password is somewhere in your brain. I think I know how to extract it."

"Yoiks!"

Daddy is busy right now. Why don't you ask your cell phone?

'Shouldn't you be out in line...'

"Attention please. We have a lost little boy named Kevin...."

"No! Instagram was enough! I don't want to know about Tik Tok!"

'Am I too late?'