Comedic View On Life Mugs

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Zoo: No Hunting.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

X-RAY

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

Tree growing

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

"The first week back is always the hardest"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."