Comedic Therapy Fans Pillows

'I feel unimportant and worthless because the NSA doesn't spy on me.'

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

"I run around this high school track every morning."

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

Boxers vs. Briefs

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

'I like your spirit - nine out of ten people would admit roller-disco wasn't for them!'

'…and then I invented ‘prong-less' barbed wire…'

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

Drawing board disaster.

Ambrose's - for sale. Wonderful opportunity for a man named Ambrose.

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

"I would like organic milk!"

'Don't worry -- I'll soon knock that paranoia out of you!'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'Get on the field! Let's go! Get your heads in the game!!'

'He's a plumber, yet you bet him he couldn't break 100, using a plunger as his putter?'

Dr. Potato Head

"Marcel!! You're on mute!!"

'Keep on jabbing kid, with your lousy punch, it's the only chance you got!'

'If your intention was to hurt my feelings, mission accomplished.'

"Could I do this with an imaginary friend?"

'I think Dr Fussmertz caught your paranoia. He's hiding under his couch.'

'Man, that new guy is nothing but a thug!'

Michelle was the first in her class to pupate.

Supporters tour.

"When the next lockdown comes, I might actually get on it."

A support group for crayons nobody ever uses.