Comedic Strategist T-Shirts

'I've hired this musician to play a sad melody while I give you a sob story why I didn't do my homework. It's actually quite effective.'

'If the world conquest thing doesn't work out, my fall-back plan is business school.'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"Management is all about problem solving. . . It's all about knowing how to get quickly and efficiently from A to B. . . or was it A to D, or C to F?"

Oh that reminds me.. I got something to keep next door's cat off the lawn.

P.R and marketing on the cheap for insurance salesman.

'Chess Masters.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Trojan Hurdler.

Under new blame.

Zoo: No Hunting.

Coronavirus Windmills

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'Our recommended position on the market is fetal.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

'I still say there are better ways to decide which positions to eliminate!'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

'It's true. There was a coup.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...