Comedic Spectator Mugs

"For my next trick, I'll need a non-litigious volunteer."

'Yes, it does make his blood boil - I enjoy it'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"My computer just texted me."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

Death Photobombs a Holiday

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Hey! This is news."

Glimpses One Dollar

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

Cristoph Willibald Gluck 2nd July 1714

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

Men and Women's changing rooms

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

Bad business inc.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Screenwasher cleaning buggy.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

"Any luck"

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'