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'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

Dolphin tricks.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Just wait until your nanny gets here."

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"It's just a wild guess but I suspect that the 14 points apply done at six countries may have contributed to your feeling a 'bit unwell'."

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"Then one day he said, 'It's either me or the damned cat!'"

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"Any luck"

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"I brought popcorn..."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Sadie hated Sunday lunchtimes.

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

'Let's go, Helen, this guy is giving me the creeps!'

'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'

Eskimo in Igloo