Comedic Recluse T-Shirts

'Society of hermits'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Man with fishing line going into water. Fishing line coming down from sky.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Breast Height Chart

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

'The guys say that the stripper won't be available before our wedding...would you mind if I had my bachelor party after the honeymoon?'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'I used to trade in futures until I learned the planet doesn't have one.'

Biological Alarm Clock.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"Haven't you a small one that would fit into a soldier's pack?"

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

'Alright, alright. I had a hard day fighting crime. No need to get smart about it.'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

Cat doctor to cat patient sitting on exam table 'All I'm saying is liposuction won't help if you don't lay off the tuna smoothies.'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'He lives in a house, and it's by the side of the road, but he's still not a friend to man.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

Pirate Paddle Boat.

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'