Comedic Mystery Mugs

'Well, I heard he was a player.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'You're an inspector now?'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'One thing you can say about Joe, he knows when to stop!'

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

Mission Impossible

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

Golf Crime Scene.

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

'We would like you to accompany us to the station, sir!'

"Yes, dear, we're caught in a cycle...but you can hardly call it a vicious cycle."

Football coaches get up to mischief

"Haven't you heard? Twenty's the new ten!"

Police crime scene.

"I'm a freelance radiologist."

"Ooh, are those Reese's Pieces?"

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

Castaway Romances

As you can probably tell, I'm easily offended

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

"Me? Keeping winning scratch cards? Never!! Champagne officer?"

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

"And so my boss decided to take me under his wing, where I proceeded to get sucked into a jet engine."

'We've searched the whole house, and there's still no sign of the evidence. To be honest, I'm starting to think we've got the wrong guy.'

"But on the other hand..."

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

"Is that a bribe?"

'...then the drone blasts the back wall of the bank.'