Comedic Food Critic Pillows

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'I think we can take you off the all-fish diet now, Mr Isbister.'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

"How do you know you don't like New York if you've never even tasted it?"

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

'Oh waiter... there are no flies in my soup!'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

Dessert Storm Veteran

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

Beard helper

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'All you can eat, burgers.'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

Frozen Fish

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'