Comedic Food Critic Pillows

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'I think we can take you off the all-fish diet now, Mr Isbister.'

"Are you the gent who complained about cold soup?"

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"No dessert until you finish your dark matter."

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Ooh girl, he may look like a potato, but he moves like a yam!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'Oh waiter... there are no flies in my soup!'

'I'm a very busy man - this way I am able to hunt and cook at the same time.'

Dessert Storm Veteran

Dear, this is the third time we've had broccoli casserole since you declared an end of major hostilities.

'I know you're in a hurry, so I ran all the leftovers through the blender.'

Beard helper

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

'Welcome monsieur et madame, may I take your coats, gloves and savings?'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

'All you can eat, burgers.'

Frozen Fish

'Perfect with fish?' ... That's sick!'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Salsa on a Stick.

'Whoa, this is an exiguous amount of cheese for $25.00, you need to put on a tie.'