Comedic Finance Prints

'Need some money for a facelift, I presume?'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Monkey Business College

At The Clown Bank.

"So that's my presentation: Could I have 100 million for the startup?"

'One day son, all of this will be yours.'

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'We finally found a way to break the deadlock in our negotiations. I'll need a deck of cards and some poker chips.'

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

'Fortunately, I'm serving, concurrently, both my interest and principle.'

"What??? For that money I used to get at least a judge, a congressman, and a city councilman!!"

"The pound is reaching parity with Liz Truss."

'Speak up!'

"Would you mind turning down your Walkman just a little!"

"I'm thinking of investing. Do you invest?"

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

"What do you think of the new window display?" "It's the first time we've ever shown a prophet."

'How to profit from a financial meltdown.'

'I'm sorry dear, I'm going to live by myself, I need to economise!'

"How much were you thinking of spending?"

Surveying and statistics sections in a Library.

'Dude, you better get outta' my whey.'