Comedic Dad Prints

Pregnant man: 'My water just broke! False alarm. Just spilled my brewski.'

"Yoiks!"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Fetch.'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

How witness protection really works...

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'The good news is we were able to remove the homework from his stomach. The bad news is, your kid can't write worth a damn.'

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

They Removed my Brain.

"Dad, I'm playing the role of the husband in our school play!"

"And then it hit me—I'm sleeping with my mother."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

'It never fails. Two pizzas exhaust Dad as much as a 10 mile run exhausts me.'

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

Meals on Heels.

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'He has so much stuff, toys and gadgets so now we punish him by sending him to our room.'

'Dads On Steroids' Dad swung his child through fence accidentally.

Painting dad's face

'I think you may have over done the pelvic floor exercise!'

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'Want to watch the Father-Son talk greatest hits?'

'Whoa! Slow down, kids! Your mom will neuter me if I bring you home with stomachaches from eating too much of that junk.'

"I wish you had a convenient carrying handle."

'Where did you find a jar with a childproof lid?'

Free Range Cow