Comedic Couple Sagas T-Shirts

This pregnancy thing just isn't working out, Steve - I can't use my laptop!

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

Diving Cat.

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

"The blow drier is broken."

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

"You lick, I'll dry."

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

"Try to remember to flex your ankles and if possible walk up and down the room."

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'Since we were first married, I vowed I'd never let Jim see me slopping around in the mornings with my hair in curlers!'

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

Searching for condom.

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'