Comedic Charmer T-Shirts

Hunger mood warning system: Women vs. Men

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Diving Cat.

You're the olive in my martini

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

"I keep telling you, Hyde won't be joining us!"

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

Is it true love when two people dressing velcro find each other?

"Tonight, ladies and gentlemen - I'm going to sing a few numbers... Seventeeeen... Eighty-niiiine... Two hundred and twenty-foooooour..."