Comedic Charmer T-Shirts

Hunger mood warning system: Women vs. Men

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Diving Cat.

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

You're the olive in my martini

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

"Just once, can we not talk about politics."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

Why Men Get Angry and Why Women Get Angry

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

"I said I wanted to see you in skimpy clothes..."

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

"I keep telling you, Hyde won't be joining us!"

"You bring the tequila, and I'll bring the Lyme."

'My dad warned me about fellas like you!'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

'Our water bill is more than we spent on our vacation because you again left the toilet running the whole time we were away.'

Is it true love when two people dressing velcro find each other?

"I'm running for city council and I'd like to kiss that baby."