Comedic Canine Handler Pillows

He Did It!

"Well, you'll just have to put your foot down and tell him he's not a lap dog!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"Why can't you just dig things up like normal dogs?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"Oh, God, am I housebroken."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

'You look lovely, but we need to lengthen your train a bit...'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You wish, Timmy.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

"Pet peeves" "I fear the cat." "I fear the cat" "I fear the cat." "Fecced me."

' Emergency Pet Hospital? My Basset Hound got into my husband's Viagara...'

'Well, I don't happen to believe you went there.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

'You think one is tough, try raising two!'

'Not me...I'm watching my cholesterol!'

'Holy S**t!'

"It's finally fur coat weather."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"We're in for the night."

If you think your pony is ailing.