Comedic Caffeine-free Mugs

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'We're looking with someone with balls...not an enlarged prostate.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

I've been on this green leafy diet for months...

'It's been so long since he's been on dry land.'

Searching for condom.

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'Your fitness program really should include more exercise than just pushing yourself away from the table...'

'...You are on a waiting list to be ill.'

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

Golf Ball in Nest.

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

'That's not what I had in mind when I asked for some encouragement!'

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

"When the next lockdown comes, I might actually get on it."

Selecting teeth.. "I'll have those, please."

Things my vacuum cleaner likes to suck up

"That's a lovely tee-shot." - "Well, thank you, it matches my underpants."

"I like to mix up my exercise routine, usually with sitting on the sofa drinking beer!"

Decaffeinated section.

'Shall we forget the ball and start to look for the golf course?'

STRIP Old Caddy (colour)

New Years Resolution.

'Calm down Harold, it's just a phase some teens go through. He just shaved his coloured feathers off to express his feminine side!'

'Al has vowed to climb the Food Pyramid...one mouthful at a time.'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

'I wasn't in a bar!! I smell like smoke because I've been going down chimneys all flippin' night!'

"They're playing with food again."