Comedian With A Love For Medicine T-Shirts

'I'll give you the symptoms, you give me the price.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Just another couple of pages.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

'The good news is that new medicine cleared up the spots, but...'