Comedian Of Workplace Woes T-Shirts

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'What's wrong now?'

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

In and Out Tray

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."