Comedian For Reptiles Prints

"Me, I work with a professional snake catcher: he drops me into people's backyards at night and waits for the call in the morning to come and catch me again..."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Eat me"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Penguin

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Alligator Bars

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"Have you noticed Carl never leaves the field to go to the bathroom?"

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

"It doesn't make me feel sexy, it makes me cross-eyed!"

"The human is back - act normal."

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

"Want to see me make him beg, roll over and shake?"