Comedian At Work Pillows

The guy who got in on the ground floor

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Boss's Desk Says No!

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Trump pardons

'The circle is complete!'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

No-Work Orange