Comedian-analyst T-Shirts

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Printout in a genetics laboratory forming dna double helix

Great literary festival heckles.

Royal Mail Privatisation

Sitcom/Sitcom with laugh track.

'Having conducted a comprehensive review of your business strategy and financial forecasts...'

Recycling centre with a bin for Jim Davidson videos.

'And the largest slice is mine.'

Father and son watching a TV sitcom

'In the eventuality of a double dip...'

'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'

Partygate Met Police Enquiry - If it walks like a duck.

"No, it's not funny. But it's in the tradition of funny."

"Devin agrees with the president. Americans are dreamers too."

The immortal philosopher Murphy sets pen to paper...

"You're doing it wrong."

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"The solution is to do the same as president Trump would do.. Attack on Twitter!"

"Someday, Ed, we're going to look back on all this and litigate."

"I need to talk to you about your unacceptable viewing history. I mean, Michael McIntyre!?!"

"The Earthling seems to be waiting for us to do something with the gift he has given us."

'If the gods wanted us to walk upright, they wouldn't have given us calluses on our knuckles.'

Uff Da! Oscar and Ingrid were happily married for only a short time...

"Why do you always have to be so gloomy, Andrew?"