College Supporter Pillows

'I thought they told you that any donation, no matter how small, would be greatly appreciated.'

'Remember, your success in life will be measure by how much you donate to your Alma Mater...'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

Coach Prime Cleans House

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Teacher's Workroom.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."

"My parents appreciate teachers, but me, not so much."

'It's not fair, Bill has stuck the bails on with chewing gum...'