College Sports Recruitment Pillows

'Ring around the rosey ...'

Go team!

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Cheerleaders

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

The Giamatti era

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

Lost Season

'I was headhunted.'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Baseball players and their qualifications.

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Coach Prime Cleans House

Tax What?!

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

Contest to enter the University

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."