College Planners T-Shirts

'I think my parents are feeling the pinch of college tuition. They're talking about return on investment.'

Institution of $20,000 plus Tuition Per year Learning

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

"Where do you see yourself in 100 years?"

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Someday, I'm gonna be president of the United States."

'Yes! How does if feel to be giving birth to a future kicker in professional football?'