College Life Mugs

Nancy Wheeler/Natalia Dyer

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I have a lot of student loans to pay back."

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

'You are supposed to be here.'

'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Please tell me you aren't my roommate.'

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."

'I know my grades weren't that good, but on the plus side, I'm the only person in my dorm who hasn't maxed out a credit card.'

'We don't have energy-efficient appliances but the food in the 'fridge has gone green.'

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'That reminds me. We have a faculty meeting this afternoon.'

You're in the Engineering Quad, Just Back Away Slowly and Find the Humanities Quad.

'Finally paid off my tuition fees.'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

Shooting a spitball at the Dean on graduation day.

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

"...This is the only way I can get though college!"

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

'I'm getting ready to apply to colleges. Do you have a list of party schools?'

"This frat better be worth it!"

Safe on campus.

Binge Drinking On Campus.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Granted, it's not a traditional sport, but I was hoping a party school might offer athletic scholarships for beer pong.'

Is my old room ready? It will be nice to take a few years off and rest up!'

'My daughter tells me you're allowed to come home on weekends...is that from college?'