College Fund Calculator T-Shirts

'My net worth? Do you mean after taxes? Or after I pay for your education?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

Business Meeting

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

'At £9,000 a year it's time to start worrying about 'owe' levels!'

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

"That's the parents' section."

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

Excess Baggage: Sometimes, your plane ticket is the least expensive part of the trip.

'We strongly recommend you buy the service plan.'

'Of course, that's just an estimate for your children's college costs.'

"Financially, you're in the top third but you're in the bottom third of that third. You are, however, in the top third of that bottom third?"

"Today's test question: If Joe Jones accumulates $16,000 student loan debt in college, then gets a job earning $30,000 a ywar, in how many years would he pay off his loan debt?"

'That meter? It tells you how fast your interest charge is adding up.'

'If I major in criminology, can I get life experience credit?'

"Son, due to the economy, I have to ask you to contribute more to your college fund."

'I finally saved up enough to send my kid to college. Unless there's another increase in postal rates.'

'I came to university to get an education and all I've acquired is debt.'

"Papi, are you saving money for my college education?"