College Fund Strategist T-Shirts

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

"I just..."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Investing your savings

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'