College-bound Comedian Prints

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Hmph. College kids.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Don't you hate...

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.