College Admissions Debater Prints

Doing Asians a Favor

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

Bribes for Jabs

"Now that's a win."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Like Minded

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

Verbal Orders

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Is there a God? God knows...'

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Wondering. In my day, when a body said I wonder why dust bunnies are called dust bunnies, it led to all sorts of delightful speculation. We could while away hours debating whether it was a marketing ploy by big broom ... or whether it dated back to Napoleon, who had a fetish for dirty rabbits. And if we were lucky, opinions could get so heated that fisticuffs would ensue. Wondering is just one of many lovely human experiences utt

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

Global warming debate.

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

Approved Debate Questions

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."