Collector Of Quirky Decor T-Shirts

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Cake Free Zone

Emergency Hipster Beard

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

Bathroom Fairy

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Rogue elephant

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Derek was extremely pleased with his new piano stool...'

Snow globe

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

Carnations.

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

"How?"

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Missing sock

'The stuff legends are made of'

Red in tooth and claw.

Sightings reported to Americans for Decency

"He calls himself orange roughy, but I remember when his name was slimehead."

The Ugly Plant

"She always gets the upper bunk."

101 uses of a dead cat: rocking horse

Cuckoo clock in psychiatrist's room

"Stop complaining, granite is in."