Collector Of Imperfections Pillows

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Inflating Boobs.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

It's great for pulling the birds!