Collecting Wine Accessories Gifts

"Will you call me?"

Corkscrew

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

true love.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Portfolio, 2011

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"Quick swig first?"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Wine tasting

Red Wine

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

The Stages of Wine

Wine of the Day Club

Wino Appreciation Group

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."