Collecting Surveys T-Shirts

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"Peut-on rire de tout?"

Mr. Frog. Poll. Poll. I'm not looking forward to this. Amphibians can never make up their minds --- first it's one way and then the other.

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"A new survey shows only 3% of Americans take surveys, but everyone believes the stupid things."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

First and last day as census taker...

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

"It's ten o'clock, and seventy-seven per cent of the people think all is well!"

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

This survey will only take five minutes and will help me improve future floods.

Surveying.

"Good evening. Can I start you off with a customer satisfaction survey?"

"Excuse me, sir - I'm conducting a survey about stress in the workplace."

"And finally, would you say your fear of crime has increased?"

'...and how satisfied are you with the food? (1) very satisfied,(2) satisfied,(3) needs improvements.'