Collecting Shrines T-Shirts

"Wow, Tia Carmen! This is a big shrine!"

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

Barristers

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Cat statues on entrance gate

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Sister Cities

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

true love.

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"My Tia Carmen keeps this shrine..."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Wino Appreciation Group

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

The Stages of Wine

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"Let it breathe for an hour, to bring out the best home-truths."