Collecting Scales T-Shirts

'You weigh 14 pints.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"Check out this new store."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

Lady Justice.

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

"May I borrow your glasses so I can find my glasses?"

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

Time Table

"This is it? No video?"

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Cuckoo bird in office.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Happy birthday, dear... It's an executive rock.'

1930's bather.

'I love the Giant's Causeway.'

'It's my biological clock.'

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

'Yeah, well I'm sick of being so danged happy all the time.'

Dueling Banjos two Banjos about to shoot it out in a Duel.

'And to mark your 50 years oversleeping...'

"You and your stones collection!"