Collecting Expensive Items Mugs

'Why don't they just call it Chateau-Sit-Down-Before-You-Look-At-The-Price?'

Fly Football

Clown on bike.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

hard-boiled egg...

"You're on a what?!"

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Bathroom Fairy

Apocalypse Research Center

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'Have you any W fronts?'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Posh Easter Egg

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

A close shave on the Titanic...

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

Tin Can Operation.

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

'I'll take ten, please.'

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

Pianist.

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

Feart!

Replica Football Merchandise

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!