Collecting Air Miles Pillows

"Don't you know who I am?! I demand an upgrade! I'm a platinum-plus frequent fly..."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

Louis-Joseph Gay-Lussac: 'The Limoges conference...study the chemical composition of the atmosphere at high altitudes."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

"I suppose he only works one day a year but just think of the air miles he collects..."

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

'How many frequent flyer points do you have?'

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

Air miles rewards.

Skydivers recording their air miles.

'I'm sorry. I probably should have talked to you before I took down our wedding photo and put up a picture of my jet.'

The Flying Timeshare,,,starting at only 3000 miles: 'Ask me,'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

Thank you for calling airline miles Visa, Mr. Taylor. How can I help you today. I'd like to book ma flight. No problem. I see you've accrued 40,000 points on your Visa - enough to travel anywhere in the U.S. on a Thursday. Thursday? Right. Any Thursday in May. The other days and months are blacked out. Of course, then I have a similar policy. Pardon? Ahem. I will only use my awards card on Thursdays in May. The rest of the days and months are blacked out! You understand you can't win. Somehow I'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Am I allowed to sit down if I'm on standby?'

'Will work for airmiles'

"Diverted to Manchester, you expect me to believe that ?"

"No, it's not a spider, Mr. Macho, it's a bit of lint from your sock!"