Colleague's Birthday T-Shirts

"Now just why do you think I would know how to fix the printer?"

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"I'm very pleased with the way you've handled this thankless boring job, Fenwick...."

Penguin at work with zebra and lion says: 'The commute is killing me.'

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

Security Dept. Keep. Out.

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

"They'e redesigned our cubicles."

'...but I'm already working as slow as I can.'

Laugh break

'I hate the job I'm lucky to have.

'I wonder where that's going' (man carring arrow with 'blame' written on it).

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Look, you can only do so much!'

International Women's Day

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Boss's Desk Says No!

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."