Coffeehouse Manager Mugs

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Do you have any catsup?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Today's special... donuts.

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

National Coffee Day

Decapitated coffee.

Coffee

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

How About Serving Us For a Change

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'I'm a purist. I don't take anything in my Vanilla Mocha Dulce Latte.'

Choice hellhole

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Come in, minion."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Kitty's Coffee Shop

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'