Coffee Commentator Prints

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'Sorry I'm not at the meeting, sir

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Practicing my hate-face."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

"Could you repeat all that, I lost you at 'good morning.'"

'This decaf's lousy.'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Honest Vending Machine

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

Voting on their Seats

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

Tea Cup Ride

"Looks like Amazon is going to start delivering babies."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our caf