Coffee Breaks Pillows

Slot machine - Early retirement.

Aging Ungracefully

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Men are like March, they come in like a lion and leave like a lamb.

'I'll just grab a coffee...'

'It's your turn to make the tea...I made it earlier!'

'It started out as a simple coffee break...'

"How can you drink so much coffee? I only have a cup a day."

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

"It's a mug's game!"

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

'I wish I were as popular as the coffee machine.'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'I'm looking for people who find me intimidating.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

With one badly timed dunk teabreak was ruined.

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"According to the survey,retention is helped by training and money...There's no mention of chaining staff to their desks."

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'