Cockroach Chuckler Pillows

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

World of Cow.

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"The cookies are always stale."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

Roach Motel

Melody Cockroach.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"And lately I've been feeling very sluggish!"

"I keep getting into a flap."

'Hello Shitty.'

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

What your acoustic guitar says about you

Merry Christmas

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Introducing Roach-Hab.

Dr. Dexter's research on long-term cell phone use was derailed by the enormous text messaging bills.

"They say the mortality rates could be as high as 3%..Better buy more toilet rolls!"

"Do you have to scream every morning when you turn on the light and I scurry across the floor?"

"I think he wants you to listen for awhile."

"I don't know what it is, but there's something about them that really gives me the creeps."

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'