Coaching Strategist Pillows

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

The MBA Draft

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I AM at my usual position."

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Personal conker trainer.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

Do you have any other skills?

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

The Other Cooperstown

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."