Cloud Nine Satirist T-Shirts

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

R.I.P. ZZ Top - Dusty Hill 1949-2021

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Damn defibrillators.

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

'I think I'm going to like it here!'

Heavenly Take Out

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

Descartes in the afterlife: "I thought therefore I was."

Angel using his hal to play golf.

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'Dress code?'

'If this were really heaven there would be fire hydrants.'

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

Please have 2 forms of photo ID ready.

'Angelfood always DID make me break out.'

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

God/Saint Watching Football.

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

Heavy angels play ring-toss using halos and thin angel.

I know, I was expecting something different too...

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

Well, that routine physical didn

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'I managed to take it with me but it seems to be useless here."

'I save these for casual Fridays.'

'Sorry, but we've never gotten enough golfers here to make it worthwhile to put in a golf course.'

Whaddaya mean "oops"?