Closet Critic T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Bloody hell!"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Shoe addict.

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"God, I love this show!"

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Emotional Baggage Handler

Marriage counselor: 'I say he's a couch po-tah-toe, and he says, couch po-taa-toe!'

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'