Closet Critic T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Bloody hell!"

Shoe addict.

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"China now says it will withdraw its opposition to the missile-defense shield if the F.B.I. builds it."

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

A woman and her home simultaneously achieve 'casual'.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

Emotional Baggage Handler

"I told you that TV would be too big for this room."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'