Clipper Crusader T-Shirts

Have you let things go a bit in the garden. . ? Call Topiary Man for 24/7 clipping support."

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Do not think outside the box!

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Welcome Ghost.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

Sea Change.

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

"I miss the old cubicles."

It's a Dog's life

In the Fever Cubicle

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

'This is a very bad report, Jenkins. Go to your cubicle.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

Still Here

"That's the Press Corps Hospitality Tent. We had better get tooled up and make a start."

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'