Clinical Comedy Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We're running a little behind, so I'd like each of you to ask yourself, 'Am I really that sick, or would I just be wasting the doctor' valuable time?'"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Happy Birthday to you.

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Gross."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Long shift?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Mobile Operations Stand.

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"