Clinic Connoisseur Pillows

'Doctor used to have a lot of back trouble...

Nurse at RedFox fertility Clinic is about to touch a computer when it says: Don't Touch Me - I Have a Headache!

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Too much concealer?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Enter, 'The Globoracy'.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Moliere

"...and we plan to offer it as a scarce and valuable product."

C Day Lewis.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"My phone is my cosmetic advisor. If the facial recognition doesn't work, I know I'm wearing too much makeup."

The Croucho Club

'Botox so soon, Master?'

"Wow! You need professional help."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'