Clinic Comic Enthusiast Mugs

"It's my opinion that you suffer from a hyperactive disorder. And when you're done writing that down, I'd like my chart back."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'You're giving me a flu-shot? Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-flu shot?'

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Quick! 5-second rule!

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

Orthopaedist

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

"Actually that's not the cause of your persistent headaches."

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

"The mood Disorders Clinic is three floors up, and then two floors down."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

"Tick, tick, tick..."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"Now where was I?"

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"