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Carbon suicide

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

'Where is the global warming when you want it?'

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

Minnesota Weather.

"An iceberg the size of Connecticut broke off from Antarctica? How do the taxes compare?"

'They did it again - not a word in the weather report about an ice age.'

"You'll have to have it neat, sir. We're running out of ice."

"Is it safe to come out yet?"

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

US Winter Weather Map.

M&S goes green - Carbon Neutralising Underpants.

"Now we know what happens when we overachieve the climate goals."

Welcome to the North Pole

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

"You bet I'm hot! My breed is meant to live high up in the mountains, but my owner was transferred here..."

'Unusual weather for June'

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

To Antarctica

Chugalugs Ice Cream (Out of Business) Coming Soon: Chuglalugs Hot Chocolate

"Actually it started quite harmlessly... internal combustion engines were the first thing the EU banned..."

'Due to global warming the Baked Alaska has been replaced by Thawed Alaska.'

"Are you sure? Hot sex is a leading cause of global warming??"

"If global warming is real, then why are winters so cold?"

'Rats, the weather forecast is bad for the whole week: Hot and sunny...'

"Oh boy, the forecast is "Freezing" today, and then "Deep Freeze" for the next two days..."

'We're polluting our ozone. Our icecaps are getting bigger, the oceans are shrinking....All because of our addiction to oxygen!'